One thing I have never really been good at has been to let myself go, to be willing to open up completely to someone and be my most vulnerable self. I mean, who wants to expose their heart to being stabbed multiple times and left to bleed out on the side of the road while it's raining?
Ok, so I'm being a little dramatic. But when you've been hurt and even traumatised by those who were supposed to love you no matter what and didn't, it's hard to not be dramatic about it.
Screen dump of a live with Shannon and I on Facebook (we don't currently have any pics of us two yet)
Love, unfortunately or fortunately (depending your perspective), has been tainted for me and therefore it has taken multiple failed relationships to finally find someone that is willing to sit with me through the really fucking hard stuff, not be triggered by it but instead be open and vulnerable so that I can feel safe to open up and be vulnerable with them.
Finally I can be truly intimate with my partner. And I don't just mean have amazing sex with.
What do I mean?
I can communicate openly and honestly, without fear of judgement and they can do the same
I will listen deeply when they speak without thinking about my response and vice versa
they are willing to accept and love every single part of me (even the dark bits) without running away screaming and vice versa, which in turns allows me to accept and love those darker parts of myself without trying to hide them or ignore the fact that they're there but instead, shining light and sitting with them so they may have the opportunity to be cleared
understanding myself and in turn my partner so that I may respond in the best way possible in any situation or so I can spoil them by giving them things that I know they will absolutely love
having a mutual respect for each other (no brainer)
the ability to be vulnerable with one another - having a safe space to just be exactly who you are without the masks
and finally, trusting each other 100%. Without trust, there can be no intimacy as there will always be fear and therefore protective barriers that will hinder your ability to embody any of the aforementioned points
Don't get me wrong, I have a long ways to go yet before I'm winning the Intimate Partner of the Year award but I am willing to keep practicing and get better every day.
The best part?
When you're in my line of work, you end up teaching what you are need of learning (what better way is there to learn?).
My beautiful partner in love and life, Shannon Vallance and I are holding our first Sacred Intimacy event this Sunday at the Scarboro Life Saving Club from 5pm.
We will be covering what it means to have true intimacy in relationships, any relationship and showing you the steps you can take to improve the intimacy in yours.
If this is peaking your interest, check out the link here for more information and to buy tickets https://www.shannonvallance.com.au/eventss/
Well, it's been a ride. I hope you have a beautiful end of year, whatever you're doing and i'll catch you in 2023!
Thank you so much for reading and all your support.
Sending you all the best frequencies,