I get a lot of blank looks from people when I use the word "trauma". Like they feel sorry for me because I have dealt with trauma and it must have been hardcore (because it's trauma and trauma is hardcore) or because they have no idea that I've had trauma and they think that I'm exaggerating because they don't know about any intense situation that has happened to me....and in their mind, they're trauma free.
There's definitely some dark shit in my past but I'm here to tell you that if you lost your mum at the shops for 5 minutes when you were a kid, freaked out about it, didn't get to complete that energetic/chemical cycle that the body produces because of that event and that energy got stuck in your body with nowhere to go.... that, my friend, creates trauma. That stuck energy in your body then manifests into patterns of behaviour, develop because of your body's incredible way of surviving but is less than ideal when these patterns end up being more detrimental than helpful in the long run.
And no. It's not just who you are.
Your personality is created by all of these moments in your past where you experienced shock, love, hurt, joy, pain, fear or anything else that created a rush of chemicals to your body and brain. Some of those moments created trauma.
Trauma does not have to be running for your life in a war torn country or rape or physical abuse or sexual abuse or torture or a car accident or anything that the trauma label is generally put upon because of its intense and horrific nature. No sir. Trauma can be anything to anybody and it can be as simple getting lost for a little while and then found again or breaking up with a partner or slicing yourself with a knife accidently.
It can also be, in my case, constantly on high alert because my dad was always ready to yell or get angry over something innocuous so it messed with my levels of trust where I was always in fight or flight... or feeling like it's normal for parents/couples to constantly fight with each other so that is what you subconsciously look for in a partner.
Maybe you got teased at school for a bowl cut that your mum gave you because she was trying to save money. Now you're super conscious about not looking stupid in front of people so you make sure you get the best hair cut at the most expensive salon along with wearing your thousand dollar suit that no one can say shit about because it's fucking expensive, mate... and you can't really afford it but it's better than getting laughed at.
You may have been bullied as a child so now you have a chip on your shoulder and not so subtly bully others so that you can command your dominance where no one will want to mess with you.
Your siblings may have scared the shit out of you in the dark when you were a kid so now you always need a lamp on to feel safe.
All of these situations cause a traumatic response in the body where if not dealt with can then create patterns of behaviour, like I just mentioned, that are an excellent method of survival and some pretty harmless but others that may not serve you long term, cause issues in your relationships or worse... Make you off putting to others.
The good news is that this is all reversible. Yep, that's right. You can heal these parts of yourself so that the trauma cycle can be completed and integrated back into the body so that there's no stuck energy in the body causing these less than ideal behavioural patterns to dissipate. Literally. I am living proof that this is possible and there are thousands of cases around the world that have integrated the trauma that was once stuck in their body and they are now free of limiting beliefs about themselves and free of shitty behaviours.
There are many modalities that can help you do this. From Integrated Trauma Healing Therapy, to Somatic Experiencing and EMDR. The key is to work with the body, not just the mind, as the body is where the trauma is stored.
A great book on trauma is The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk. In this book are countless studies on Bessel's patients. Some with truly horrific back stories but surprisingly happy endings.
“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.” Bessel Van Der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
One way that I can support you on your healing journey is by using frequency to shift energetic blocks in your body. Frequency is everywhere, emanating from everything. Even you. And the best part is that it can be manipulated. If there is stuck energy in your body, frequency can come in and shift it so that it clears. Leaving you lighter, with less emotional baggage, more confidence in yourself and a higher sense of worth.
Healing with frequency is the way of the future and I can't wait for the rest of the world to catch up.
What do you notice about yourself that could be a result of trauma?
As always, with love.
Ruth x