Far out! It's fucking spring already!!
So many things have transpired and I honestly feel like I am being divinely guided and so protected.
So much magic.
I guess what I wanted you to get out of this blog is for you to acknowledge how far you've come.
We tend to do this thing where we just keep going in our daily lives, always striving for that next goal, next achievement, next holiday, next whatever and never actually stop to acknowledge how fucking awesome we've become after all the learnings and such we inevitably do...because such is the nature of life.
Did you see yourself being where you are today five years ago?
Not only would I have laughed in your face but I would have also thought you were nuts for suggesting such a weird yet amazing scenario.
I'm no stranger to dramatic situations (if you know anything about my past, you know) but there has been a butt load of self awareness, growth and change happen in these past five years that have facilitated the need to steer well clear of any kind of drama as soon as it presents itself.
Looking at myself and how I react to drama now, I am super proud of who I have become and how I handle these situations - a (mostly) calm, powerful, level headed woman, with oodles of wisdom and (some) grace.
I love who I've become. It's beautiful but it's also kinda shocking.
You're reading the blog of a woman that used to have bongs for breakfast, take whatever drugs were on offer and not shy away from any kind of attention (appropriate or otherwise).
Self esteem was almost non existent and the self loathing and destruction was real.
A being who's compass was so broken that anyone that showed even the slightest of niceties become my new "north".
I don't have to tell you how badly that would go.
Anyway, I may not know your story or necessarily who you are but I do know that if you're reading this, you're probably wanting to exact positive change in your life because you are (or you at least want to be) led by your heart and that, my friend, tells me that you have already crawled out of, at the very least, a little mental darkness, crossed some treacherous mountain peaks and landed at a higher leveled plateau where you can look back and see how far you have actually come.
I wholeheartedly and enthusiastically encourage you to do this.
STOP. JUST - STOP.
LOOK. LOOK AT ALL THE SHIT YOU'VE GONE THROUGH AND......YOU SURVIVED! YOU'RE STILL HERE!
GIVE YOURSELF SOME FUCKING LOVE BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT!
Ok, ill stop yelling now. My old bootcamp instructor self came out for a sec.
I just think it's important for you to do this.
How else are you going to get better at congratulating and loving yourself as you gradually become more badass with all the growth you're doing?!
You feel me, yeah?
Anyway, I'm telling you because I need to tell me also.
Thanks me, it's you, being me, telling you that you're rocking me.
Even though it doesn't feel like it sometimes, you really are doing well. I know it. I feel it.
I've been wrong before but not about this.
So make sure you're periodically smell those lillies, petunias, roses or whatever the fuck your fave smelling metaphorical flower is.
It's important for your enhancement as a human in this life.
I love you.